My brother genuinely thinks I'm "in stocks."
What I'm actually in is six different meme coins and one staking platform quietly promising 8% daily returns, which sounds insane even typing it out.
When he asks how the stocks are doing I just say "a little volatile," because the real answer takes longer to explain than either of us has patience for.
Sometimes the kindest lie to family isn't even about the profits, it's just letting them believe you made a sensible choice at all.