d/Funny • Follow post Save Hide Report My date’s profile said 5’6 but she was taller than me I’m 5'11. She arrived and was clearly around 6'1. No issue. I just said, “I thought your profile said 5'6?” She smiled and said: “I like seeing which men lie about their height.” Then she looked me up and down and said, “You’re actually fine.” I felt like I had passed airport security. 0 0 Share
d/Funny • Follow post Save Hide Report I learned my friend has been using my photo on his dating profile He asked me to help choose better pictures for his profile. I opened it and saw a group photo from a wedding. I’m standing next to him. Except he cropped the photo in a way that makes it look like my body is his. My suit. My watch. His head. I asked why. He said, “You had better posture.” What does that even mean? 0 0 Share
d/Funny • Follow post Save Hide Report My friend named his baby after a video game character and won’t admit it He and his wife announced their son’s name. Nice name, slightly unusual. I immediately recognized it from the game we played for years. Asked him privately. He denied everything. Then I remembered his Wi-Fi password is also the character’s name. His wife still thinks they found it in a baby-name book. I’m carrying dangerous information. 0 0 Share
d/Funny • Follow post Save Hide Report My mom has been telling relatives i’m “between relationships” I’m single. That’s it. But apparently my mom thinks this sounds too permanent, so whenever relatives ask, she says I’m “between relationships right now.” At a family event an uncle asked when my last relationship ended. I said two years ago. My mom immediately interrupted with, “He’s very selective.” Thanks for the PR management, Mom. 0 0 Share
d/Funny • Follow post Save Hide Report My brother has been wearing my expensive perfume on dates Bottle was disappearing suspiciously fast. I barely use it. Finally caught my younger brother spraying it before going out. I asked how long he’d been using it. He said, “Only for important situations.” Apparently my $180 fragrance has participated in more dates this year than I have. 0 0 Share
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