We've been friends for almost eight years.
Whenever he has a breakup, job problem, family fight or money issue, I'm the first person he calls. And I genuinely don't mind. I've sat with him until 3 AM multiple times, driven across town when he was having a terrible day, helped him prepare for interviews, everything.
But I noticed something recently.
When his life is going well, he disappears.
Last year he got into a relationship and I barely heard from him for six months. They broke up and suddenly we were “brothers” again.
Then he got a new job. Disappeared.
Had problems with his manager. Called me every evening for two weeks.
A few months ago I invited him to my birthday dinner. He said he was busy and couldn't make it. Fine.
Three weeks later he had another breakup and called me at 1:30 AM.
I picked up.
We spoke for nearly two hours.
After the call I just sat there thinking… does this person actually consider me a friend, or am I emotional customer support?
I haven't confronted him because saying “you only call when you're sad” sounds weirdly transactional. Friendship isn't supposed to be a spreadsheet.
But at the same time, I'm getting tired.
Has anyone dealt with this without completely ending the friendship?