Everyone talks about the instant magical love you feel after becoming a mother. I loved my daughter, but in those first months I also resented what had happened to my life and marriage. My husband and I stopped talking about anything except feeding, sleeping, diapers, and money.
I felt monstrous for even thinking it. I never hurt her and cared for her constantly, but emotionally I struggled. She is six now and the funniest person I know. I wish mothers could admit that love can arrive alongside grief for your old life. I kept silent because I was afraid one ugly feeling would define me.