My in-laws are strict vegetarians. And walking into a new marriage, I really did not want my opening move to be "hi, I'm the daughter-in-law who eats meat." First impressions and all that. So I just... didn't mention that I do.
For two years I ran a whole operation. Meat only happened on work trips, far from home, no witnesses. Then I'd brush my teeth twice before walking back through the door like I was covering up a crime scene. Mints in the bag. The works.
My husband didn't even find out until our second anniversary. And when he did — I braced for something, hurt maybe, betrayal — he just lost it laughing. Genuinely thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever confessed to. Said he couldn't believe I'd been double-brushing my teeth for two years over some chicken.
He still hasn't told his parents. Solidarity, apparently.