My ex is getting married and i feel… relieved? is that allowed?

Everyone around me is bracing for me to fall apart quietly. Waiting for it, almost. And I keep waiting to feel devastated too.

It's not coming.

I saw the wedding card pop up on Instagram and what I actually felt was closer to a hook finally unclipping from my back — one I'd apparently been hanging off of this whole time without realizing.

I liked the post. And I meant the like. No bitterness behind it, no performance. Just genuine relief that we both made it out and she's happy.

Is it weird that the absence of pain feels stranger than pain would've?